Two Ghazals: Intimations of Ghalib

1.



 
 
My absence was God:
His absence grows in me.
If I was not in play, how
Would that go for me?
 
I had nothing to lose
When she cut off my head.
It sat not on my torso: it lay
Dead upon my knee.

Dead all these years, Ghalib
Comes back to me. We
Talked of present misery:
He always, what might be.

 
2.

 

He blanched, nearly died, at love’s first swagger.
This is love's country, be brave, true and free.
 
Like slow arteries, time irrigates your flesh.
In this death-crafted life, we struggle to be free.

Catch this fever once, it stays with you for life.
The heart grows in pain till death sets you free.
 
My friends could not find a cure for my rage.
Lashed to the crucifix, I walk the desert free.
 
In death, Ghalib lay uncoffined, unwashed.
May God bless the man: he was singularly free.

 
M. Shahid Alam

I was born in Dhaka, where my family had emigrated from India; we had to leave during the civil war of 1971 that created an independent Bangladesh. Urdu is my first language, but (thanks to the British) not the language in which I think and write. I have kept my Bengali alive, and some friends from Dhaka say it has improved. I began translating Ghalib when I was in college but then my poetry was swamped by that dismal science: economics. After many years, I went back to translating Ghalib, not letting my colleagues in economics know about my secret life as a poet. Some of these translations have appeared (or will appear) in Kenyon Review, Prairie Schooner, Chicago Review, and Beloit Poetry Journal. Now if only I could convince a book publisher that there is money to be made from a book of Ghalib translations.

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Excerpt from "The Complete 'Dark Shadows' (of My Childhood)"