Study in Black²

This time, the man said it was a subtle piece, and together we stepped
into the black box, our hands groping handrails, darkness so thick it
seemed to swallow us whole. And what is human instinct, really, if not
the deep-rooted panic that sets in when we lose our understanding of
sight? For here is the world eyes opened or closed. Here is our bodies
becoming undone. If you can’t see the hand waving in front of your
face, how do you know the hand exists? And no, this is not a question
of trees falling in woods or Schrodinger’s cat alive or dead in boxes. I’m
tired of people questioning whether we matter unless we matter to
them.   This is, after all, a poem about matter.   And existence. And
how, after awhile, a light appeared in the distance, glowing like a fuzzy
cataract on an otherwise perfect plane of black. Without it, we might
have been everywhere and nowhere, boundless. Tell me, if you can’t
see the walls around you, how do you know they exist? Don’t pretend
they don’t. You know they do.

                                                                                   And I am so tired
                                                                                   of being boxed in.

————————————————————————-
2 “Study in Black” was written in response to James Turrell’s Hind Sight (Dark Space).

 
Samantha Tetangco

Samantha Tetangco is a Filipino-American writer and teacher.  Her short stories, creative nonfiction, and poetry have appeared in dozens of literary magazines including The Sun, Zone 3, Arc Poetry, Gargoyle, Phoebe, Gertrude and others.  She has an MFA from the University of New Mexico and is the Associate Director of Writing at the University of California Merced. 

​​In her dailiness, Tetangco struggles with what it means to be a queer person of color who doesn’t often write about being a queer person of color.  More often, her work revolves around the multitude of places she's once lived and (often) still calls home, including the San Francisco Bay Area, Albuquerque, New Mexico, and California's Central Valley where she currently lives with her wife and their two dogs.  

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