Pantoum with Lines from Katherine Mansfield’s Journal

Monday, July 15, 2019
The year is nearly over. 
A thick white mist reaches the edge of the field.
There is no limit to human suffering.
I am sad tonight. Perhaps it is the wind.
 
A thick white mist reaches the edge of the field.
This joy of being alone. What is it?
I am sad tonight. Perhaps it is the wind.
The black chair, half in shadow, as if a happy person sprawled there.
 
This joy of being alone. What is it?
I feel the new life coming nearer.
The black chair, half in shadow, as if a happy person sprawled there.
For all the sun, it is raining outside.
 
I feel the new life coming nearer.
And then the dream is over and I begin working again.
For all the sun, it is raining outside.
I feel always trembling on the brink of poetry.
 
And then the dream is over and I begin working again.
Am I less of a writer than I used to be?
I feel always trembling on the brink of poetry.
Sometimes I glance up at the clock.
 
Am I less of a writer than I used to be?
I must begin all over again.
Sometimes I glance up at the clock.
To look up through the trees to the faraway blue.
 
I must begin all over again.
To live—to live—that is all.
To look up through the trees to the faraway blue.
I want to remember how the light fades from a room.
 
To live—to live—that is all.
There is no limit to human suffering.
I want to remember how the light fades from a room.
The year is nearly over.

  

Source text: Journal of Katherine Mansfield, ed. by J. Middleton Murry. New York: Knopf, 1936.
Monday, July 15, 2019